Sometimes, no matter how much support I get from those around me-
Or how often I visit other blogs and websites to gain comfort in the stories of all those other awesome mamas and mamas-to-be out there-
Or whatever the Boy does for me-
Or how desperately I attempt to cram every bit of information in my noggin from every baby book every written-
Sometimes...
I still feel scared shitless in what I'm going through.
And so utterly alone.
Oh honey... That's because it's a very personal journey and while everyone can tell you how it was for them, which is helpful, no one can tell you how it is for you. What most people don't say is that it's perfectly okay to be afraid. Terrified even. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in that fear, it's just that most other people don't really talk about it. There's some unwritten rule somewhere that people think that having a baby has to be all sunshine and puppy dogs, especially for the mom (Dads are expected to have panic). Moms are expected to intuitively know what to do. Which is bullshit. And makes it even more scary. It is perfectly acceptable to feel like you have no idea what you're doing. Because you don't. And that's okay.
ReplyDeleteJessica -- unfortunately that's a feeling that never really goes away. I remember the first day alone with Riley by myself. The scariest day ever. Watching my husband drive away for work -- while I sat with her in my arms crying. Not trying to scare you, but it something that no one ever tells you. It is very scary and overwhelming. Once she comes, remember that it's a learning process for all 3 of you and don't be afraid to ask for help/advice - but know when to take it or leave it.
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